I was raised Catholic. My mother was devout. I became an altar boy when the Mass was in Latin. To this day, I'll take exception to any claim that Catholicism isn't the best form of Christianity.
Thinking about the contradictions in Catholic doctrine during Mass over the years, I slowly realized any belief in God was meaningless. Once you define God as the Supreme Being, everything you say about God falls short of His "omni-nesses." So I don't say anything. He is literally invisible in human life. You can't point to any feeling or state or experience and say "that's a sign of God." But for the same reason, you can't point to anything and say "that's a sign God *doesn't* exist."
I'm ok with life, with its high highs and low lows. I'm ok creating my own purpose and meaning. I'm not saying life is all that great. I'm just saying that having 100% let go of God, it hasn't left any kind of void. It doesn't hurt to accept my fate.