Since you let philosophy get in the door, consider that quite a number of top-shelf philosophers would suggest you simply let go of questions you find you can't answer, like "what caused the universe?" or "why is there something rather than nothing?"

They followed different paths and presented their conclusions in different terms but their bottom lines are consistent.

It's like we're inside a shell -- of conscious, perception, brain wiring, cognitive limits, whatever -- and we can't see, know or conceptualize what's outside of it.